Lindsey Heim

Denizens of the local gym...

So, although we all see the crowd of 'usuals' at the local gym, I have come to pick out a few 'regulars' who make my day brighter with their quirikiness. Their idiosyncracies make themselves stand out, and I can't help but write a few words on them.

1- hot tub people. So, I am convinced that there is a whole crowd of people who tell their significant other that they are 'going to the gym' and meerly arrive and sit in the hot tub. I'm not talking about the little post- workout dip. We're talking hours here- I have no idea how they don't just shrivel up. I even saw two men sitting there with a pitcher thermos of bloody marys- compete with celery sticks. wow. (I wanted to ask if they would share)

2- people with ugly tattoos. I am convinced that there is a pre requisite to joining the gym of having an ugly tattoo. I'm not talking little ones here, I'm talking full arms, large tramp stamps (oh, sorry, 'tribal'), skulls with hearts, nebraska "N"s, and don't forget about the greek frat tattoos (usually very very large). These people say, if you are going to go- go all out.

3- people who show up to a spin class in full euro pro kit. enough said.

4- peacock man. This guy likes to show up fully accessorized to stand out. We're talking multible bandanas, stocking hat, tight tank, ugly tattoos, sweat bands, male dance pants, and gold chains. Usually seen only doing ab exercises.

5- Dudes who are really fat and drinking protein shakes

6- The guy who showed up to the gym with some Taco Bell fourthmeal in his hands, including jumbo drink. This is one of the boldest, and best moves I have ever seen at the gym. I really hoped that he took it to the hot tub to eat.

7- Girl who goes on the treadmill for some apparent 'long run' in long sleeves and pants in the super hot gym. She brought a whole buffet with her- PowerBars, Propel, Gatorade, Water, Hollywood crap magazines, yet she is constantly getting on and off the treadmill every 10 minutes to go do something, talk to someone, adjust her hair, etc.

8- Dude doing some sort of adapted bikram yoga in the sauna- taking up all of the floor space in the process, and requiring the 8 other people to do nothing else to do but stare at him going through the sun salutation.

9- Big guy who shows up at the pool, and surprisingly smokes everyone. He mows his mass through the water like it is nothing at all, creating a large wake in the process. Needless to say, I am very impressed.